Hierophany

"Wire"-esque drug dealing
and I got caught by rival dealer and was
pleading for my life.  Was it McNulty
or was he my boss?  Maybe I was with
Omar and he pissed them off.

Carcetti was also in the dream.  I remember him coming across me in a big, being-rehabbed house.  Something about an air vent in the floor (without register).  Some money dropped in it.  He was not my friend.  Maybe he was the head of the other side.

I was talking to one of the high-ups of the rival gang.  At one time maybe we were friends.  I was saying I like you guys, it's not personal.  And he reciprocated but this wasn't going to save my life.

I said, You guys might need a good lawyer down the road.  And I remember thinking, I'd be awful at the kind of work I'd have to do for them.  And I figured they've probably already got a bevy of lawyers.  This was true desperation on my part.

Then I remember the guy opening a brand new pack of Camel Lights.  Taking the cellophane off.

This is the first dream I can recall in which I was literally pleading for my life.



[12.31.2007]



see the cbw response here

Someone killed Jackie McKenna by stabbing her.  I guess this was when me and her were back at IMSA.  I did not do it (I had no memory of it in the dream) but I was the main suspect nonetheless.  The cops came and picked me up for questioning.  I was at b-ball practice when they picked me up.  I couldn't believe the accusation (but I don't remember being surprised or aggrieved).  I told the police to talk to my friends and acquaintances, who would say I would never do that.  I never formulated an alibi (I was never asked to).  One of the players to vouch for me was Michael Jordan, my friend in the dream.

Kurt Ewen, my RC at IMSA, was one of the detectives.  He was questioning me, driving me around.  I said, Take a black light to my hands and clothes.  Check my apartment, I said.  But I was slightly apprehensive of this because someone else had a key to my apartment–Ray.  It crossed my mind that when I got back to the apartment w/ Detective Ewen that my apartment could be framed up—ransacked, murder weapon and clothed planted, blood on doorknob.  But I thought: my prints wouldn't be on that stuff anyway.  I yelled at Kurt saying, Run any tests you want, you won't find any evidence against me.



[12.30.2003]





read the cbw response here

I remember walking around, late morning with a couple of guys.  Older than me.  One might have been the publisher of West End Word.  Although he acted differently (i.e. not gay).  We sat at this restaurant and I was thinking about getting a drink.  At first they didn't seem interested in a drink but the menu didn't seem to have any drinks on it.

But on second look the menu was only drinks.  And they wanted to drink indeed, maybe were only playing with me.

I was gonna get a manhattan but a maker's manhattan was $12 or something.  Then they had their rail 'hattan listed and it was $7 or so, so I was gonna get that.

I am missing a ton of this dream.  I suspect we were going from place to place just drinking.  I also have in mind beach scenes, like maybe we were in Florida or the Texas coast...



[12.29.2007]




read the cbw response here but not before reading the 12.30 dream above

One of my worst dreams ever last night.  Knives, Jackie, Brook.  Possibility of going to jail.  For some reason, the three of us agreed it would be a good idea for me to assist in their death: stabbing them, right under the rib cage and thrusting upward toward the heart.  Awful just awful.  Plenty of blood.

After I had stabbed them both, I began to realize that what I was doing was horribly wrong.  So I made a call to emergency.  Apparently, we were all in a dorm.  Because I called emergency and got some sort of "front desk".  Jason Spanel answered the phone there and thought I was kidding him.  After a bit it became clear that I wasn't.  Ambulances arrived soon enough, as did police.

For awhile, I was only being questioned by the police.  I wasn't yet in jail but it was just a matter of time.  They must have been trying to figure out what to charge me with.  I don't recall Brook or Jackie dying.  But some parts of the dream did come from jail.

At some point before that though, I remember being on the WU campus.  I was looking for Jessica Yokley I think.  I went into a classroom that was taking a test and actually sort of interrupted things.  I didn't quite do it myself: some attractive brunette taking the test saw me come in and after a bit she was like, "Are you looking for somebody?"  I told her I was looking for Sarah Johnson, in a whisper.  Then when Sarah wasn't there, I made to leave.  On my way out, I apologized to the teacher—Mr. Buchanan, freshman high school, bio—and he wasn't too understanding about it.

The last concrete thing I remember is being questioned again by the police.  After a bit, they must have figured that I/we needed a break.  They told me to go across the street and get a movie.  I went, breaking into a jog soon enough.  I was headed straight toward the video store though I must admit that escape crossed my mind.  Sure enough, as I got to the parking lot of the place, the police started yelling.  I turned around and saw that a police dog (german shepherd) was right on me.  It bit into my hand.  The police got there and finally persuaded the dog to let me go.  It turned out that I could converse with the dog in standard English.  He could say things that I could understand and vice versa.

The police apparently thought I was just making it up.

I remember two more scenes, but I have to get ready for work.

                           + Basketball with (adults)
                           + Lunch at the Jail Cafeteria

Final thought:  This was an AWFUL dream.  One that I woke up from at least twice.  The earlier time, I woke up and wished it weren't true but couldn't see how it could be false: it had happened.  The second time I woke up and realized that I was free from that reality.



[12.26.2001]



see the cbw response here

Some cute girl was dropping quarters to me down the center (inside) of a multi-floor stairwell.  She was really into quarters and somehow dropping them was her way of breaking in new ones.

Utah's "quarter" was a little brown shopping bag made of soft fabric.  Then there was a special edition quarter that was large and related to global warming.  It was sort of a "State of Global Warming" quarter, with a big waterfall on it.  Presumably a new waterfall created through warming effects.

Perhaps this thread fed into the next that I want to write about.  Also global warming-themed.  I was working to get the Clean Air Act changed to help combat global warming.  But I was doing so not as a lawyer but rather some kind of James Bond vigilante type.

First I remember getting a mission (from the cute girl) that I had to destroy a washing machine in what seems like it was a gov't building.  I took an ax to it and was chopping at the spot where you would put in quarters to do a load.  Two guys in succession tried to stop me so I used the backside of the ax (like a sledge) and nailed them on the back of the neck with it, knocking them out.  That mission was then over.

Next I was on some campus trying to find the guy who could tell me what my mission was.  He was a student there.  Very casual he was.  Maybe just being discrete in company.  very stingy to give me direct orders.  He said I needed to get laws changed.  What laws?  Any?  State, local, campus?  Any.  Then someone else was there who knew the goals.  But I think she was on the phone and the other guy was out to lunch completely at this point.  So was asking her, "It's the Clean Air Act I'm trying to get changed, right?"

                                                                     *

Unrelated, earlier thread.  Fooling around with some cute girl that I believe was dating someone else or maybe under someone else's guardianship.  Ken Rumelt was in this dream, in the next room.  But this gal and I are on a bed and just totally comfy.  I don't remember what she looked like or anything else about her.  I don't think we really even did anything but it was still a lot of fun, feeling like we were doing something we weren't supposed to.



[12.25.2007]



see the cbw response here

In a living quarters, maybe where astronauts lived.  I was waiting for a chance to be in the room alone because I wanted to look more closely at a pair of panties I saw in the washbasket (they appeared wet, partially).  But then next thing I knew, the room was all changed around and my living space was now down the hall.  They'd all kicked me out and laughed among themselves, believing I'd deserved it.

                                                                    *

Dropped/spilled a bunch of generic aspirin.  There were a bunch of people around, so I was like, "It's only generic aspirin!"

                                                                    *

Movie biz, could not find a job, could not take a piss either...woke up and pissed.



[12.24.2006]




see the cbw response here

Me, Ray, and Brook were doing some kind of straw poll.  But Ray seemed to think his vote was representative of the group.  It was the Republican primary.  He picked Romney, McCain, and Huckabee.  I didn't want Romney but Ray was being so stubborn and never even asked us to form some kind of consensus.  So I put it to Brook and she agreed: Ron Paul instead of Mitt Romney.  I said, Two out of three wins in a democracy.

                                                                   *

Some other miscellaneous threads:

° I was a cop or game warden along the Gulf Coast or somewhere.  I arrested these guys for selling dogs.  They were surprised they were arrested.  I was on a boat (their boat).  Cages in the water.  The boat floated off twenty feet and I used something like an oar to get it back.

° In a house—whose house?  Had elements of Ray and Em's, as being in a city, but it was a new place—I recall something about Emily being out of town.  Her friends were around and so were some of her things.  There was some rough weather outside.  On a third or second floor you could walk out onto a roof patio that used to be a room.  So you had mossy brick all around but it was open air with a view of the city.  Pretty neat.

° Something about working out with a women's softball or volleyball team.  Reluctantly deciding to do laps.  I had already worked out.

° At a church or religious building.  Waiting for Brook.  Go outside and get harassed by some Hispanics who're asking for money so they could go to the doctor.  They follow me back inside.  Eventually I turn around and ask them what their problem is.  Something allows us to reconcile...


[12.23.2007]


see the cbw response here

Was looking for my pistol but I lost it or someone took it, I thought Chavez...then I fell asleep for three straight weeks... I woke up and ventured out, saw someone I knew and he said, "Where've you been?"  I said, "I took a nap...when was the last time I saw you?"  He said, "Three weeks ago."  But I think he knew that I had been drugged...and that he was in on it.


[12.22.2006]



see the cbw response here

Yes, some mildly mentally retarded older fellow (living in a basement somewhere?) said he had something for me to see.  The squirrel was  completely conversive but shy.  It had an unusually long and skinny elephant-esque snout through which it talked, kind of a nasal voice.  I either apologized or internally felt guilt about the squirrels I killed this spring.


[12.19.2007]
 

*


People were trying to steal my gold.  I asked them how they even knew I had any and they said my house was glowing.  Called U City 911 but no one came.  People kept breaking in or trying to.  I knifed a couple but they didn't die.  I started to ferry the gold out of the house but these people were all over me.


[12.19.2008]





see the cbw response here
(Which response also references 12.17.2006 dream, type of thing)

Three threads of dreams:


(1)  Thom Kortkamp, a reunion, but he was disaffected, bipolar, scary.

(2)  Flying.  Do not remember flying, but I believe I did.  What I remember is trying to show someone else how I did it—just start flapping your arms; you'll get a little lift; then start kicking your legs; then flap and kick, and up you go—but I couldn't get off the ground.  This happened before in a dream.  Where I expected to be able to fly, but couldn't.

(3)  Crush on Annie Castello (grade school).  I ended up getting in a fight.  This guy and I were arguing face to face, then we were both about to kiss, to spite each other, and he slips me either a loogie or his tongue, or both, and I push him down on a picnic table and put a cigarette out under his eye.  I thought all of this would impress Annie but when I looked up after the fight she was no longer around.  And I felt like a fool.



[12.17.2006]

bought a yacht?
went on one w/ Dad
watch out for manta rays!

                 *

Buying IPA and IRA checks
wishing instead of IPA checks I'd
just gotten another IPA.  This was at
the second thai restaurant in town (second
to thai country).  Mohinder from
Heroes was there.  His name was Russ,
but I kept calling him Raj.



[12.15.2007]




see the cbw response here

3:35a

Have had two calea caps, half a calea mix pipe.  Am going to bed soon.   I am going to dream tonight.  Yes, John, you are going to dream tonight.

Keep this by your side while you are sleeping...


9:52a

No recollection yet.


afternoon

Three hawks in a tree.

Adam Edell.




[12.13.2001]



see the cbw response here

Bought some weed in Vegas &
was super Paranoid
was gonna take it to
Antarctica w/ me;  was goin on a
field trip there; Ray did an imitation
of a penguin

                    *

Went out an emergency exit
was afraid guy who sold it to me
was a cop; first bag he showed me
was all stems; he mighta
thought I was a cop




see the cbw response here

Bad dream about being trapped on a Houston oil tanker.  I was being lied to, it was a big conspiracy.  I got in a truck of Chinese speakers leaving the base where the tanker was set up but I was still on edge.  We were driving out of the area, all these migrants in the road.

                                                                     *

Elsewhere, lying in a bed with George Clooney, Catherine Z. Jones, and Meg M. (from Wash U).  Brook was in the apt.  It was some big party.  I remember thinking I was gonna call my mom and tell her I was in bed with George Clooney!

                                                                    *

Then Brook met Jackie.  Jackie's aunt had just died and she had other issues.  Brook was glad Jackie wasn't staying and said so jokingly.  But Jackie didn't take it as a joke.  Bad spot.

                                                                    *

Then a bottle rocket landed in My Collar.  I was paralyzed but grabbed it and rolled over on it so it exploded under my right shoulder.




[12.11.2004]



see the cbw response here

Hoping that the "Hero" would come out in people.

All I had was a knife.

I cut out Sylar's heart, thinking, "This has to kill him."




see the cbw response here but not until you also read "An Amsterdam Dream." (below)
 

An Amsterdam dream.  I was back in Amsterdam.  Eric Peters was there.  It was that moment, when I'm walking out of the train station and the whole city is there in front of me, and I'm so excited by the opportunities.

So Eric and I try to figure out what shop to go to.  I am lobbying for Grey Area.  He doesn't want to go there.  I ask why and he doesn't say much.  I say it's supposed to be the best weed and I am thinking about the ice0o0later hash in my head.  If you want a more comfortable place to sit, then how about the Dampkring.

Then we are in a shop and I am ordering off of a menu.  There are only four choices and I am having a hard time making up my mind.  The bud-tender seems annoyed.  I remark to myself about how I can communicate in English.

That thread ends and I am in a house with another family.  It is a summer house and I am not all that familiar with the family.  It is akin to being w/ a girlfriend's family for the first time, those awkward moments.

Anyway, the mother figure is on a variety of medications and I am eager to look at the bottles to determine if there's anything I want.  But I have to be very careful b/c theire isn't a good reason for me to go through her desk or cabinet, etc.  I need to get in there alone.  I feel like I almost do it once but her husband appears and I have to make up some excuse.

Then there is a scene where they are moving out or at least moving furniture.  I do open the desk and see some bottles but I cannot recall any specifics.



[12.09.2007]



do not read the cbw response until you also/first? read Sylar—How to Kill (above)

Dream:  While I was sleeping someone came into my apartment and stole my computer.  I walked out my door though and there it was.  Sitting right outside my door.  Not stolen.  I visited Michael, my neighbor across the way, and blamed him for it.  He said he didn't do it though.

Later the next day, while searching my house/apartment, someone else and I found a young Indian or Mexican boy just standing quietly in the back of a closet.  I asked if it was him who had moved the computer and he said yes, he had done it because it had tried to get inside his mind.

I thought this was great and, inside the dream, I had the notion to make this portion of the dream into a one-act, or the opening act of a play.

This boy multiplied into many others but the original retained a Mother-mary-like religious significance.

[12.08.2002]




see the cbw response here

Was assigned to cover a golf tournament.  Lots of players.  I actually got out on the course.  But then they were throwing frisbees not hitting golf balls.  One of the frisbees hit me and I was embarassed.  On the third hole, I lost them.  Fell asleep or something.  Phil Williams was around.  I was gonna ask him if he had any grass.  I was trying to find the third and fourth holes but couldn't.  Went into this large building adjacent to the course and found a map.  Building was ominous, secrets there, part school part army base.

                                                                     *

Earlier, dreamt there was a break-in.  This was occurring in a different house, as I was sleeping.  Actually heard the sounds in real life and woke up, soon realizing that the sounds (e.g. a door squeaking open) were not real, mind playing tricks.  Also dreamt I was writing poetry in a notebook.  Do not remember any of course but would love to've actually written it down.

[12.07.2006]



see the cbw response here

Yes, a tall skinny rat bit me on our deck.  It could talk.  It was getting revenge.

                                                                    *

Yes, took Squirt to high school, didn't know what to do with him when class started (guilt).  Then a guy talked to me about blessing things and people.  At first I thought he was giving me shit but then I started thinking he was for real.

                                                                    *

Yes, also in that high school thread, my sister was there.  I had been doing dancing moves randomly as a personality flare but she said it was getting old and that I needed some new moves.


[12.4.2008]



see the cbw response here

Went into bathroom
Did not realize some
Young kid was in shower.
I had to go I said.
He freaked.  There was a tussle.
I wiped my ass on him.
It was gross and I felt so bad.
He sent his elders after me.
They came for my cock with an X-ACTO.
The one had a bandage on his thumb.


[12.3.2007]



see the cbw response here